bubble cars

bubble cars are my answer to the modern problems of traffic congestion and air pollution as well as auto accident fatalities. i dreamed up this nifty little invention several years ago. i'm planning to patent my idea and someday in the very distant future, i'll be filthy, filthy rich.

so what is a bubble car you ask....?

well, first of all, instead of being made of metal or plastic, a bubble car is made of a different material that I have not invented yet. it's tough yet flexible, very smooth and "skinlike" and...almost slimy. that's because there are tiny pores all over the car that exude a sort of friction-reducing lubricant much like vaseline. in fact, that's the only thing you have to add to the car. super expensive gasoline bills will be a thing of the past. there are also no wheels on a bubble car and the only door is a hatch in the roof. the car is smooth and oblong in shape. because there are no wheels, there is also no steering wheel. you press panels inside the cockpit that shift the car's weight and cause it to move left or right. the car's speed is controlled by magnets in the car that communicate with magnets imbedded in the road.

the kind of roads needed for a bubble car are different than the roads we use today. they are not made of asphalt but rather of a tough vinyl like stuff that doesn't offer a lot of friction. the roads are also not flat but rather like covered tubes, flatter on the bottom, rounded and clear on top and banked around corners.

so bubble cars can cruise along, pulled by magnets and guided by the balance shifting panels in the cockpit, on a thin film of lubricant. when traffic is heavy, bubble cars can just bunch together with other bubble cars. they slip and slide past eachother, protected again by the lubricant exuded from their pores. in tight traffic conditions, as bubble cars crowd together on the highway, they squish a little and become slightly elongated. this allows a lot of cars to pack together without having to slow down; their speed is kept constant by the magnets.

auto accident fatalities will be nill with bubble cars because they don't dent and shatter like our prehistoric automobiles. if one bubble car hits another bubble car, a slight indentation will form in the "skin" of the car and then the cars will bounce off eachother and continue on their way. you don't have high-speed collisions because all the cars are kept at a constant speed. with bubble cars, you don't have to worry about avoiding collisions; in fact, it is normal and expected to make contact with neighboring automobiles as you slide down the roads.

drunk driving worries will be a thing of the past. now you can be totally blitzed in the cockpit and not have to worry about causing a wreck. just don't barf in your bubble car or out the top hatch. this will mix with the lubricant and cause a nasty mess on the highway.

so obviously i've got a lot more work to do on my little brainchild before its ready for mass production. but you wait and see. someday bubble cars will be big. and they'll make today's PITA commutes a distant memory.