my insane, crazy whirlwind of a life (in a nutshell)

My alarm goes off at 3 am this morning, just like it always does. I stumble out of bed in a haze of confusion, just like I always do. Reality gradually sets in and I realize with profound disappointment that it's only Wednesday and I've gotta get ready for work. I'm exhausted. It's been a crazy coupla weeks and I could reeeeally use a sick day.

But I quickly decide that there's really no point in calling out sick. The kids have to go to school, which means I have to get dressed and drive them to my mom's. Which is halfway to work. And I sold a bunch of stuff on eBay this past week, so I have to go to the post office today and ship it out. And I have class tonight, which is closer to work than it is to home. So I decide I might as well get up and go to work. Besides there is free coffee there...

On top of all that stuff...kids, work, nursing school, my insane 4-hour-a-day commute, helping the kids with their school work, getting a fledgeling eBay business up and running...(as if that weren't enough), I'm currently goin' thru the big D (an' don't mean Dallas). So there's obviously a lot of other stuff going on that I really can't/shouldn't blog about right now, loose lips sinking ships and all that. I had to go to my state-required parenting class last night, and again next Tuesday...then the kids go in October. And I'm getting ready to move. Both of those things are pretty stressful and I just want to get them over with.

Then I can take a much deserved vacation with the kids. Which is another thing in the planning stages that's causing me stress.

Whew. Last night, I didn't even have time to make dinner. I had to call the pizza place from my cell phone while flying down Rt. 1, swing by there and pick up something for the kids, put it on the table then hurry out the door to my parenting class, then didn't get home until it was time to put everyone in bed. Then I had to make school lunches and clean up the kitchen. I cleaned out the diswasher but didn't have the energy to refill it with the dirty dishes from the sink. There were clothes in the dryer that need to be folded and more clothes in the washer that needed to go in the dryer. They still sit were they were, with this morning's breakfast bowls in addition to what was already in the sink. Dirty dishes in the sink drive me crazy, but sometimes you just gotta let it go, right?

So here I am at work. I've gotta run out at lunch and mail my eBay packages, then I have class, then have to get the kids, drive home, make dinner, make tomorrow's lunches, do something with the laundry before it gets mildewed....

My weekends are filled up with grocery shopping, house cleaning, catching up on laundry, cutting the grass, my Saturday morning class, running the kids around to wherever they need or want to go....etc. I'm getting by on about 5 hours of sleep a night during the week, and that's on a good night. I've put 33,000 miles on my car in the past year, most of that just going to work and back. I was presented with the "hell on wheels" award at work recently. People say they don't know how I do it. Sometimes I don't even know how I do it. I just do it. Sometimes it almost even seems worthwhile.

Like this morning, the kids and me were riding up to my mom's house. My son out of the blue decided to thank me for buying the pizza last night. Then he said to the other kids, "Aren't you glad we have this mom!?"

And they all actually agreed with him. ;)

A lot of times I wonder if I'm doing the right thing and making the right decisions. Or I think I'm not being the kind of mom I really want to be, not doing a good enough job or whatever. But moments like that, I know it's all gonna be OK.