i'm a jeanious!

it's true... by combining exactly the right elements of my exellent problem solving abilities, my sometimes devious thought processes and my astounding physical hyperflexibility, i've actually managed to defy and defeat a law of physics.

you know, the one that says you can't be in two places at one time?

it all started, as most great accomplishements do, with the presentation of a dilemma.

my mom contacted me at 14:00 hours on Tuesday afternoon to explain that she had been called to a secret emergency round table meeting of elementary school principals that was convening the following day in Salsbury, Maryland. for this reason, she would be unable to transport my offspring to and from their educational enrichment center for the day. i would be left to handle the job myself...

that presented a problem because, well, the children would need to be removed from their aftercare program prior to 18:00 hours. that presented a problem because my wednesday night anatomy and physiology lecture does not terminate until 18:00 hours.

also of note, neither the children's school nor my college have yet installed teleportation equipment. no, i would have to seek a more old fashioned way to overcome my quandary....

my first instinct was to just bag class. i mean, my class attendance record so far borders on the anal retentive, so what would missing one teensy weensy little lecture hurt, right?

wrong!

i refuse to allow my education suffer because of a simple timing discrepancy. i just knew there had to be another way....

then a brilliant idea hit me.

i temporarily acquired a hospital-owned dictaphone from my office and brought it with me to class. at the predetermined moment, i set the device to record and excused myself from the classroom. then i dashed to my car and drove like a madwoman to the children's school, which was a half hour drive away, collected them quickly and returned to my college campus. i sauntered back into the classroom just as lecture ended, as if i had only just returned from a somewhat extended visit to the ladies room. i collected the dictaphone (along with a recording of the evening's lecture) and departed for home.

later, my offspring and i celebrated the success of my brilliant scheme with a trip to the golden arches. and once again, all is well in my world.